X is for Xerxes

In my opinion, 300 is the greatest chick flick ever.  And don’t tell me that 300 is not a chick flick.  It is simply impossible to plausibly assert that it was geared toward anyone but women and,  possibly, homosexual men.  If by some miracle, one is able to ignore the seemingly infinite ranks of excruciatingly hot, undeniably masculine Spartan eye candy destroying all manner of hideous beasts to protect their families in much the same way my husband disposes of spiders, one could envision 300 as a love story.

On the one hand, Leonidas shows a tremendous amount of love for his family and kingdom by going against the wishes of the corrupt politicians and priests and taking his 300 warriors to defend his home from the Persians.  But he also shows love for his soldiers not only when he tells Xerxes he would give his life for any one of them, but when he denies Ephialtes a place among them that would put them at risk.

On the other hand, the love story between Queen Gorgo and King Leonidas is the epitome of Neo-classical tragedy.  In her quest to rally support for her husband, Gorgo is raped, betrayed and publicly humiliated, but is still able to draw on the strength of her love for Leonidas to brutally kill her tormentor, expose him as a traitor and unite Sparta against the Persians.  Although, like any good tragedy, the help comes too late to save Leonidas, who dies proclaiming his eternal love for his queen.

And finally, there are two lines from 300 which perfectly support my belief that it is the best chick flick ever.  The first is when Xerxes, as the personification of lust for power who can only command his hordes through fear and greed and therefore cannot comprehend the depth of Leonidas’ resolve, asks Leonidas to consider the fate of Sparta’s women to which Leonidas replies, “Clearly you don’t know our women! I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I’ve seen.”  The second, but not necessarily lesser, quote is from the scene in which Gorgo stabs Theron while repeating to him the words he used prior to raping her, “This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your Queen!”

Of course, I could just love watching 300 because of the hotties.  I think I should watch it again to help me decide.  Will you please pass me the chocolate covered popcorn?

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