I need some guidance. I simply cannot understand why there are so many teenagers walking around town wearing jeans, sneakers and a hoodie. It’s practically the Arctic Circle out there and these idiots are wearing a HOODIE to protect them from hypothermia. Polar bears would gladly eat these children for their own good if it wasn’t too freaking cold for the bears to venture outside their dens.
Someone please explain this phenomenon to me. Are Paris fashion models strutting down runways looking fierce without the tips of their nose, ears and fingers? Did some teenybopper magazine irresponsibly insist that only losers doomed to social purgatory don winter coats when the windchill is above -50°F? Or maybe images of frostbitten extremities on WebMD or eMedicine are suddenly the latest fad to be peaking their budding sexual proclivities? “Hey, Baby! Those black fingertips are so hot, I want to lick them all through homeroom!”
And where are the parents of these teenagers? Are they working and unaware of the danger or do they just not care? Perhaps they have given up trying to reason with their offspring and have decided that whatever happens, happens?
I have no answers. I wish I did. All I know is that should I ever catch one of my children behaving in the same manner, social purgatory, ravenous Polar bears and possible amputation of gangrenous body parts will be the very least of their problems. Mama don’t play that. Not even when ski lifts are installed in Hell.