I know that my husband doesn’t have a mistress. I know this because not only is he my soul-mate (and I’m not just saying that to deter my stalkers – my new Taser takes care of that), but he doesn’t make enough money to afford me, let alone another woman. And as if that isn’t reason enough, I’ve found that my recent self-improvements have provided him with a brand new wife: me.

This new wife of his likes to experiment: in the kitchen trying new healthy recipes and baking treats from scratch; outdoors biking, jogging, and playing “ninja tag” with the kids; and in the bedroom trying positions once thought suitable only for yogis and gymnasts. Somehow, in the course of losing weight, I have become healthier, happier, more energetic and have apparently elevated my sensual skills to rival that of Aphrodite. Bonus!

It’s a completely win-win situation for me and my hubby. And it gets better – not only do you burn calories doing the wild thing, all that fun releases endorphins that help alleviate stress, improve sleep quality, and make you a lot more enjoyable to be around, which in turn, boosts your relationship. You can even combine the horizontal mambo with other pleasurable things to get more bang for the buck (pun intended), such as chocolate or a foot massage. What could be better than that?

So go ahead and get jiggy with it! And don’t forget the Godiva!