Q is for Questionable: The A to Z Blogging Challenge Unsanctioned Imitation

As a young student, I remember hearing “there is no such thing as a stupid question” stated firmly and repeatedly throughout my education. Occasionally, some smartass in the back of the class would add the prerequisite “only stupid people” to the end of that beloved idiom, but sometimes you just have to go with it and appreciate the irony. However, as I’ve progressed through life, I’ve found this theory to be flawed. Yes, Virginia, there ARE stupid questions.

My definition of a stupid question is one that is asked in spite of the querent’s indisputable knowledge of the correct answer which is quite possibly gnawing on his or her derriere at the moment the question is verbalized. For example, when I am quietly enjoying a book in the warm afternoon sun in beautiful solitude and my neighbor’s 8-year-old daughter asks, “What are you doing?” Or when the hugely under-dressed young lady from the office questions whether the mini skirt which barely conceals her vagina is too short. Or when the Good Samaritan from the neighborhood block party discovers the wretched soul contorted on the bathroom floor praying loudly and messily to the Porcelain God and feels compelled to say, “Are you okay?”

Under normal circumstances, I try to respond to these questions in the spirit in which they were asked. I would answer respectively, “Eating an elephant. Go away.”; “Maybe a little. Go away.”; and “Yes, thank you. Go away.” But recently I’ve discovered an underlying hostility toward stupid questions in my answers. I mean, seriously, if you have to ask whether those low rise painted on jeans make you look fat, perhaps it would be easier, more expedient and far less painful to choose another item from your wardrobe rather than endure my response.

So, the next time you feel that stupid question buzzing around in the back of your mind seeking an escape route past your lips, escort it to solitary confinement for it’s own protection. Let the correct answer currently engaged in a staring contest with you be your guide and then move on. You’ll be happier, wiser and completely uninjured by any sarcasm intended for the stupid question. Now, go away.

12 thoughts on “Q is for Questionable: The A to Z Blogging Challenge Unsanctioned Imitation

  1. James Garcia Jr says:

    I used to tease a neighbor kid. I would be pulling weeds and he would ask what I was doing, in the sweetest little voice you can imagine. I would immediately reply that I was washing the car. “You’re not washing the car,” he would say. “You’re pulling the weeds!” I would then ask him if he knew that, why was he asking me.
    That darn kid lost that little voice and is in high school now. I miss those days.
    I never had anyone ask whether their skirt was too short, however. *snaps fingers*
    Ok. I see you’re busy. I’ll go away now…
    πŸ˜‰

    -Jimmy

  2. Sisyphus47 says:

    Human frailty? Is it that writers have a clearer vision? But is it really that the obvious is unquestionable? Nice post! πŸ™‚

  3. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    There are stupid questions, yes. Many people use the questions to fill up silence. Silence isn’t a bad thing, though…

  4. Cerridwen says:

    Omg, (see what I did there πŸ˜‰ I love this post! Seriously, you have no idea!
    There absolutely are stupid questions, and in my job I hear a terrifying number of them. “My dog hasn’t pooped in a week. Is that bad?” “I think my rabbit broke his leg, how do I fix it?” “There is blood gushing from this huge wound on my cat’s side, should I just wait for it to stop on it’s own?” I kid you not, these are questions people ask me. And since my job requires that I refrain from responses like “Sure! Just wait until he passes out from blood loss, and I’m sure it will stop shortly thereafter.” or “Tell you what, how about if you don’t poop for a week and then call me back and tell me if you think it might be bad.”, I appreciate the chance to hijack your comments to vent. Thanks Tawn!

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